I Call It Father

The thing which you fearThe thing that squeezes the life out of youthen stopslets you breathe againbut only for an instantthen squeezes againYou can call it what you wishI call it father

How do I saywithout sounding ungrateful

that the lesson you will leave me

Is running

Is leavingA fear stitched in my marrow

A fear that breathes

FatherWhat if I am buried in the hate you litter?What if I am the animal that births its young only to eat them

Alive

Alive

AliveThe thought leaves me defeatedThe thought leaves me drained

How do I saywithout sounding ungrateful

That truly I pity youTruly I pity myselfHow do I say

You have given me everythingAnd taken it away in the same breath

With that thingwhere you squeeze my neckand squeezeBut when life is ready to let goYou let golet life seep back into me

Only to squeeze again another day