Monsieur Woke

“Shut up,” I yelled. “Why do you always chat shit?”

Joseph laughed.

“Comprehension I guess.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, furiously.

“The answer is in your head.”

Joseph giggled and walked to the far end of the room where the ps4 was, putting it on and playing Fifa all by himself. 5 minutes of silence and he asked me to join him but I refused. There it was again: his annoying laugh. He did it to annoy me, mostly because he knew it got under my skin.

“Sure you don’t want to play?” He teased. “Scared to lose?”

Yes, he laughed again and a second after, I was by his side holding the second ps4 controller. Three games in a row and I lost all of them. He didn’t laugh that time but he let the silence boil and last longer.

“So, what are you going to do about Nkem?” He casually asked.

I had already raised my fist thinking his first words would be my banter. Calming down, I paused for a minute.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Are you sure you are going to let it go, just like that?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, sounding defeated. “It is what she wants.”

“Maybe she’s testing you?”

“Testing?” I laughed, looking at Joseph, but his straight face struck me out. “You are serious.”

“You know girls. Sometimes their Nos mean yes.”

“That’s stupid.”

“You might think so but it’s not. They are testing your resolve to see how much you want them. They are scared of being used.”

“You sure know a lot about this,” I mocked him.

“Don’t be acting brand new, Seun. Why you acting different all of a sudden, like you don’t know?”

“Those days are behind me. Let’s not talk about it. What’s the point? Are you trying to make me feel bad?”

“What?” He sounded alarmed. “What are you talking about? You were a hero and all of a sudden, you can’t get girls anymore. Its this your new ideology. Monsieur Woke.”

I sighed.

“I really like Nkem, I do.”

“Go get your girl!”

“But, she said… didn’t you read that text?”

“You go like make I run the parole?”

“NO!” I shouted. “No vex, but you dey crase?”

“But, she no be your babe. Why you wan tight fist?”

I sighed again.

Nkem was this girl I had been talking to. Everything was going pretty good, very very good. I thought different- the one, perhaps. The conversations were endless, we loved seeing each other. I had found something healthy and one day, all of a sudden, after an outing, she suddenly changed and sent a ‘break up’ text.

“I need to focus on myself,” She said. “I hope we can still be friends.”

I lied, but I want her back and I miss everything that she is, in my life; but my pride will never allow me admit the truth.

“I can’t,” I whispered to myself.

There was a knock on the door which then opened just after. It was my cousin.

“Do you still have my lotion? The one I gave you for the beach.”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s in my bathroom,” I replied.

He went it and returned with shock on his face.

“It was full when I gave you! This guy!”

He laughed and walked right now. Just before I could re-continue my conversation with Joseph, the door opened wide again.

“Who was here?” My cousin asked.

“No one, why?”

“The pads are on and I heard voices earlier.”

“Nah, nobody. I was playing music.”

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