Three Ways To Feel About Home

the hating:

my palm does not run across my stomach
without hitting several rolls of fat
just like I can never be happy for a moment
without being stripped of it
and I am the one stripping
my arms are so fat and my jollof isn’t even sweet
if I can’t get married for my non existent beauty
I also can’t get married for my cooking skills
I keep hosting funerals in this dark cave
I call a body

the coming to terms:

so what if I’m fat
who decided that being fat is unfit anyway?
who was it and why were they given that power?
this body may not be
everybody’s standard of beautiful
and they may hurl bad words at it
but it is mine, not theirs
why am I joining outsiders
to be wicked to my own self?
I’m betraying my own existence
I am stuck in this body and we are all we have
the earlier I start to accept it
and make myself comfortable
the better for me

the loving:

I have realised that
in my affairs
I am the only one that should matter
I am thinking
maybe if I start to see love in my own self
and shower my body with it
maybe my heart will be lighter
I have been ungrateful because
this body is mine and I did not pay for it
it serves me
warms my soul on rainy days
adorns me
fights for me
how can I not love this magic
bestowed unto me

1 thought on “Three Ways To Feel About Home

  1. The struggle is indeed real.

    Liked by 1 person

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