Coming Out

I am not sure why I allowed my girlfriend convince me to come here. 

“Now brethren, stand to your feet! In the next couple of minutes I want you to claim your inheritance! Take back what is yours!” the Pastor screamed, his loud voice hitting my ears from the platform.

He must have been really anointed because since I arrived at 7pm (late by the way), he had been preaching up a storm and it was already past 10pm. Truly, I tried seriously to pay attention but the ravishing piece of flesh standing several rows away from me up on the platform wouldn’t let me. With his crisp suit, carved jaws, long arms and legs, and fine muscles, he looked like a cone of my favorite ice cream that spent time in the gym. His thick lips looked strong but soft from the way they stretched out and folded whenever he spoke. He had been sweating since I arrived and it made him more distracting.

I told my friend when we took our seats that the man was fine and she said I was letting the devil use me, again, and that I shouldn’t make her regret inviting me to the program, the name escapes my mind…. Ah, ‘fire from above’, yes that.

“Looo! I want you to touch your neighbour!” he shouted, getting more frantic on the platform “Touch your neighbour! Say neighbour! In three days you are coming out! Move around! Touch three people! Tell them…. In three days! You are coming out and burst into praise!”

The whole place was in an uproar, a man behind me fell over. Another lady alongside three chairs went down. 

There was really loud charismatic music in tune, good sound, but I couldn’t bring myself to move. More people were falling around me. My man on the platform looked more strained and glorious by the hour, and I wished I could join him up there and clean his sweat.

“You are coming out! Out of your bondage! From financial hardships! Out of your troubles, bad relationships! In three days you are out!” He said whilst stepping down from the platform and into the crowd. People are still falling, some even screaming. For some reason my heart was beating fast. He approached my row. Could this be love?.

I could smell his Cologne already, he was three seats away from me. He stopped moving and then looked straight at me. I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack.

“Young lady,” he was no longer shouting but still had his mic on.  “The spirit of jezebel is—”

Before he could complete his sentence and turn me into a spectacle, as they always did (I had been through this before), I picked up my bag and headed straight for the exit.

“Leave her!…. Let her be!” He was probably instructing the busy body ushers who looked like they were ready to pounce on me. “She will be back.”

By then, I had reached the back exit, walking to my car.

And so I am seated in my car, comfortable at last, ready to go. I hear a knock; my friend who invited me is jamming my car window with her knuckles, I knew she was following me.

“Lucia, where are you going? They are not done yet and you shouldn’t have run off like that! Maybe this time you could have been delivered” she says panting and talking fast.

“Well, first – I didn’t run off, I walked out. Second – I have been here long enough so I’m leaving, care to join me?”

My friend looks irritated by what I just said, I can’t blame her, she has to see things how I see them to understand. Anyhow, she returns to the awakening event. I wish I had her drive and devotion.

It’s over.

I start my car and just have to hear myself say it, so I say it in almost a whisper

In three days, I’m coming out.

But I know I am not, at least not in three days. I have been addicted to sex for twelve years, I just don’t see how that goes off in three days. So I text my friend so she doesn’t give up on me.

Baby girl, don’t be mad. Like he said I will be back. Love you

Boom! Boom! Boom!

That’s the sound of three cars running into mine. This day is not the day I die.

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