Longing

Longing.
Reaching through the void to grasp the seemingly unreachable
I shiver, shake, and shudder
All the hallmarks of withdrawal
Clouded corneas as I come to terms with my need to feel
To feel you
When you’re away it feels like a thick rubber band around my existence
I always snap back to the need
I am never able to win through
And only the pain is guaranteed
Anxiety born of uncertainty
As heart and soul quietly bleed
What manner of system breeds within us such a capacity for pain
Insatiable need and eternally divergent desires?
Ensuring eventually that needs are never met
Anguish and torture forever the constant
Salvation eternal in its distance
Because what we want we hardly get
Yet our longings gladly stretch
Companions unwilling to leave
Though the party was scanty and brief
Living on time we do not have
Miss opportunities to ponder chances we did not grab
Constantly mauled by the fear of being replaced
The sick joke that is the illusion of control
We determine who we love, we determine what kind of life we live
It’s been eleven years I’ve been a slave to these cries within
Whining and whimpering while my will weakens
Yet in all that time you always seem to feel different
It’s a bitter truth but we’re not entitled to feelings
If we were really in control then we’re all addicted to healing
How else do you explain the volume of problems we create
We hate silence but in foolish pride rather than talk we debate
Are we really in love or are we just running from being alone?
Longing
Wanting
Needing
Never knowing why
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