He inhaled it. Deep and long, dragging the white powder through his nostrils and into his lungs. His head snapped back, arching his spine as the blood rushed into his head, killing all inhibition and drowning common sense. He felt invincible.
His eyes flew open as he screamed. A scream of violent pleasure, of chemical-induced euphoria and blind ecstasy. He felt powerful, he could headbutt a tank and dent it, he could walk to the moon if he wanted. This was the state of excitement that most men craved that made them resort to chemicals. He wasn’t most men though, this was not where he was going to.
With fidgety hands, he used his credit card to arrange his iniquity in one single line. He sniffed again and again his head snapped back. Not yet there. He arranged another line and sniffed again. There. His head slowly returned to its normal position and his hands ceased to shake. His eyes were focused. He was calm. This was it.
This was where he wanted, no needed to be. Slowly, he lifted his hands to his face and stared at the tools he had allowed his demons to wield. One tear at a time, he caved underneath the burden of his existence. How did he let himself get so low? Where was the future that youth had promised?
As he gently sobbed, he knew that this was what he yearned for, this was worth the price that he was going to pay. One moment of transcendent lucidity, away from the distractions and repetitive routine that plagued his everyday life. In that moment, he was free, he was weightless. He smiled.
Softly, like from a point just on the edge of his perception, he felt his left arm throb. Even pain couldn’t reach him in the place he was. But he had run out of time. He picked up the pen and the paper that he had kept in expectation of this moment and wrote in careful deliberate letters the words that would constitute the final action of his mortal life. His heart stopped and in his final moment, his eyes swept over his own words:
They say to destroy the things that destroy us.
But what do you do
When the thing destroying you is yourself?